BLACK DOG PRESS

ABC's Caveman Show, Proof that God has Stopped Watching Television

In the tradition of Cop Rock and the George Forman show, ABC has again led the networks with it's new worst show ever made.

Caveman is based on the Geico commercial that portrays metro sexual Cavemen in different contemporary scenarios. Geico ran the add campaign until the wow factor and the jokes all dried up. ABC execs who must be under the impression that the world will end under the 5th Mayan Sun to come in 2012, have boldly gone forward with the show.

In a related story, the ghost of Phil Hartman has filed a law suit against Geico and ABC, citing his work on SNL as "Unfrozen-Caveman Lawyer," which like the Geico  premise found a caveman stuck in the modern world yet humorously adapting well. Hartman's main complaint other than trademark infringement, "it was funny like twice in 30 second sketches, and even then half the joke was the theme song."   

NBC, New Must See TV to Return

NBC is trying to resurrect Must See TV by trying a new controversial 2 hour show "Hook, Revisited".

The first episode will feature Tom Hanks as every character, another 21 episodes will follow with different celebrities playing out the 1991 hit.

WHOPPI GOLDBERG DEFENDS MICHAEL VICK ON THE VIEW

The View May See More Controversy This Year As Whoopi Goldberg Starts Off By Defending Dog Fighting:

On her first day on the job with the daytime chat show, The View, Whoopi Goldberg used her time to defend disgraced NFL star Michael Vick, who has pleaded guilty to charges of dog fighting. 

Goldberg said that dog fighting isn't that unusual in the South, and that people just don't understand that this is a cultural issue. 

“It’s like cockfighting in Puerto Rico,” Goldberg said. “There are certain things that are indicative to certain parts of the country.”

When the the Atlanta Falcons quarterback pleaded guilty to federal dogfighting charges last week, he admitted that he provided money for a dogfighting ring that operated on his Virginia property and that  he personally helped kill six or eight pit bulls.

Goldberg was brought into The View to replace the firey Rosie O'Donnell, whose personal views often overran the entire show.

Other co-hosts, in particular, Joy Behar, looked horrified at Whoopi's remarks but no Rosie-esque feud was incited. “I just thought it was interesting," Goldberg said, " because it seemed like a light went off in his head when he realized this was something that the entire country didn’t appreciate.”

Imagine

Imagine if you will a strange confluence of forces: The almost forgotten Galilea Montijo (recently surpassed in her naked glory by Cecilia Bolocco) and Rosie O'Donnel together on The View interviewing Ron Paul. Ladies and gentleman, I believe in this strange new world, I believe this episode of the view would be watched 5 billion times on YouTube every day. I believe that Myspace will have lost no love from the facebook crowd when O'Donnel and Montijo are friends against Ron Paul. Just one more American idol falling by the wayside like Zippy the Pinhead's pal Muffler Man.

It's a true story of the future friends and you can google it in ten years if you dont' bebo-lieve me.