BLACK DOG PRESS

Michael Jackson Sighted, The Return of The King

Michael Jackson is not dead.

 Reports of Michael Jackson sightings have been coming in from around the world. A glove reaching out of a McDonald's ball pitt in Romania, a strange looking

 stewardess giving out "Jesus Juice," to children on a flight to Japan.

Most recently children were treated to a fantastic show at a Chucky Cheese in Omaha Nebraska.

It was little Lee Widner's tenth birthday party,  and things were getting pretty boring, until suddenly  from out of the kitchen a masked pale man came 

moon-walking out of the kitchen and treated all 

the kiddies to a performance of Billie Jean. The man who called himself Herman Batman,

then treated Lee and two of his best friends to trip around the state in

a private jet, that "Herman" claimed to have acquired in

a "cash for clunkers" deal. The event left town folks scratching their heads and wondering, 

was Herman Batman, really Michael Jackson. 

Michael Vick, Unforgivable Blackness

Michael Vick, Unforgivable Blackness

Will any NFL team sign Vick?

In a recent episode of NBC's "30 Rock," Alec Baldwin says to Tracey Morgan's character, "You're a celebrity you can do anything you want and the public will forgive you, except for dog fighting, they seem to not like that."

Here are just a few sins that celebrities and athletes  have been convicted of, but were able to over come and continue lucrative careers

Drug Possession; To list all the celebrities would take too much time, but family movie star Tim Allen served prison time for possession and distribution of cocaine, if he was unforgiven we have never of had the wonderful movie, "Wild Hogs."

Statutory Rape; Another minor sin soon forgiven by the public, again daily headlines of celebrities involved in the indiscretion are so numerous that it would be silly for us to hold any anger towards them. Just let Ben Rosenberger play, he is a Super Bowl champion, the girl must be lying or wanted it.

Rape; I wish women would stop accusing famous people of Rape, look how much money Kobe Briant lost in endorsement deals, he was the real victim, and the kids that accused Michael Jackson were not trying to "Heal the World, he was the greatest person who ever lived. A special mention to R Kelly who is both a statutory and real rapist at the same time.

Murder; My main man Ray Lewis, while most citizens would at least see some jail time for man slaughter, the world and the NFL just could'nt let that talent go to waste just because he killed a guy in a silly fight.

None of these offensives could possibly be worse than dog fighting. The main thing that separates Vick's case from the rest, is that the public views those other crimes as racially neutral. Every one likes drugs, sex with minors, and murder. Dog fighting is viewed as a Black man's game and Michael Vick was getting to be to uppity anyway. How dare he abandon the pocket and destroy decades of NFL defensive stradedy by being perhaps the most versatile and game changing Quarter Back of his era. He should of been smart and unmovable and predictable as Dan Marino. His salary was also way too outrageous. He needed to be reminded whose world he lived in, and he is not the first African American to learn this lesson. 

I know that people love their dogs, but Vick should be playing. I'm also not saying that everyone who anti-Vick is a racist but there has to be a reason that his crimes are greater than the ones mentioned above, and I see race or perception of race as playing a factor.      

Freedom of Information Act Request pending on Obama's Health Care Spy Program:

 (***DISCLAIMER ON BEHALF OF THE MOTHERLAND:In the interest of full disclosure it is our duty here at Black Dog Press to inform you that the following article may be considered "fishy" information, or even as dastardly as, "disinformation." Understanding that this makes us ungrateful citizens, we ask our readers with what patriotic duty we have left to report this article to flag@whitehouse.gov.***)

OBAMA ASKS AMERICANS TO SPY ON EACH OTHER

The Obama Administration is trying to save its unpopular health care reform bill through what can only be described as "Soviet style" tactics. Indeed, the White House blog has asked American's to inform, the administration about any dissenting persons, or information.

Michael Jackson's Doctor Is Not a Suspect

MTV is reporting that a  spokeswoman for Edward Chernoff, an attorney representing Michael Jackson's interests, says that Jackson's personal Doctor Conrad Murray is not a suspect in any homocide investigation.

OBAMA REFUSES TO APOLOGIZE TO CAMBRIGE POLICE

Professor Gates Scandal Continues as Obama Calls Cambridge Officer but Offers NO Apology:

Today president Barack Obama made a surprise appearance at the White House press briefing in an attempt to address the political firestorm of the "Professor Gates Scandal", or as we like to call it, "Gates Gate"....

OBAMA CELEBRATES HITLER

President Barack Obama announced today that he is adding one more portrait to the White House, bringing the former chancellor of Germany, Adolf Hitler to the America for the very first time...

GORE TO MAKE AN INCONVENIENT TRUTH PART 2

GORE TO MAKE AN INCONVENIENT TRUTH PART 2

Gore to Make An Inconvenient Truth Part 2, or  ICT2J. 

Gore promises more action in the sequel, which he says is part De Vinci Code, part National Treasure.

Gore will star along with his friend and long time political intellect

STEVEN SEAGAL!

The two friend met at a  Hooters sponsored  fat guy  wet  t-shirt  contest,  in which Gore won  what he calls his first Noble prize. 

The movie will be directed by Michael Bay, and promises Lava flowing through New York City, and Polar Bears being forced into concentration camps by an evil Republican administration. There will also be a love scene between  Gore and Jessica Alba that  very reminiscent of the romantic  Al and Tipper Gore make  out session  of the 2000 election. "Al makes love making look like a mother bird  feeding  her  young baby," said Bay. It's just so disgusting, I think it's why actresses are regarded as such whores, I mean really, she would F#ck Gore if we paid her enough money, except I think she did anyway, In fact I don't think there was a guy on the crew of Truth 2 that didn't get his dick drained by that Latin slut"

Summer 2011!

Gore to Make An Inconvenient Truth Part 2, or  ICT2J. 

Gore promises more action in the sequel, which he says is part De Vinci Code, part National Treasure.

Gore will star along with his friend and long time political intellect

STEVEN SEAGAL!

The two friend met at a  Hooters sponsored  fat guy  wet  t-shirt  contest,  in which Gore won  what he calls his first Noble prize. 

The movie will be directed by Michael Bay, and promises Lava flowing through New York City, and Polar Bears being forced into concentration camps by an evil Republican administration. There will also be a love scene between  Gore and Jessica Alba that  very reminiscent of the romantic  Al and Tipper Gore make  out session  of the 2000 election. "Al makes love making look like a mother bird  feeding  her  young baby," said Bay. It's just so disgusting, I think it's why actresses are regarded as such whores, I mean really, she would F#ck Gore if we paid her enough money, except I think she did anyway, In fact I don't think there was a guy on the crew of Truth 2 that didn't get his dick drained by that Latin slut"

Summer 2011!

OBAMA BUYS HIS FIRST BILLY JOEL CD

OBAMA BUYS HIS FIRST BILLY JOEL CD

In an attempt to bridge the gap he has with uneducated white voters, Barack Obama went into a West Virginia Wall mart and bought his very first Billie Joel CD. Billie Joel's Greatest Hits. 
"Wow it was really awesome, Barack said after only 40 seconds of listening to it."

Barack also bought the first five seasons of "Friends" and some new ammo for all the deer hunting he plans on doing in the next week.

"Barack really is loving his new white lifestyle," said a senior Obama staff member. "He even did the tomahawk chop at the Washington National game yesterday, and the braves weren't even playing!"

Ignorant whites everywhere are taking a second look at Barack.  "I thought he was too much like that  bad Ni#^ER  Malcolm X, but I think he might be more like that nice colored boy Will Smith," said an ignorant non college educated white, who still loves Hillary. 

In an attempt to bridge the gap he has with uneducated white voters, Barack Obama went into a West Virginia Wall mart and bought his very first Billie Joel CD. Billie Joel's Greatest Hits. 
"Wow it was really awesome, Barack said after only 40 seconds of listening to it."

Barack also bought the first five seasons of "Friends" and some new ammo for all the deer hunting he plans on doing in the next week.

"Barack really is loving his new white lifestyle," said a senior Obama staff member. "He even did the tomahawk chop at the Washington National game yesterday, and the braves weren't even playing!"

Ignorant whites everywhere are taking a second look at Barack.  "I thought he was too much like that  bad Ni#^ER  Malcolm X, but I think he might be more like that nice colored boy Will Smith," said an ignorant non college educated white, who still loves Hillary. 

STEVEN SPIELBERG 'THERE WILL BE NO HOOK 2"

STEVEN SPIELBERG 'THERE WILL BE NO HOOK 2"

Hundreds of people around the country were devastated today by the news from Holly Wood. There will be no sequel to the 1989 smash hit Hook.

It has been nearly 20 years since the dream pairing of Robin William's and Dustin Hoffman in the epic Hook. "Hook changed how movies were made" Said Francis Ford Coppala, "you see before Hook many british actors had played jewish people, but never before did a Jewish actor play a british person.

Perhaps the hardest hit by all this sadness is local Subway shop sandwich artist Robert Parker. Parker is currently in an on going law suit with Subway. Mr. Parker contends that dressing up like Dustin Hoffman from Hook is his sexual identity, his employers see it differently. Robert was hoping that the sequel would reveal intimate detail in the love life of Hook, finally proving that dressing as a 17th century pirate indeed is a gender.

Hundreds of people around the country were devastated today by the news from Holly Wood. There will be no sequel to the 1989 smash hit Hook.

It has been nearly 20 years since the dream pairing of Robin William's and Dustin Hoffman in the epic Hook. "Hook changed how movies were made" Said Francis Ford Coppala, "you see before Hook many british actors had played jewish people, but never before did a Jewish actor play a british person.

Perhaps the hardest hit by all this sadness is local Subway shop sandwich artist Robert Parker. Parker is currently in an on going law suit with Subway. Mr. Parker contends that dressing up like Dustin Hoffman from Hook is his sexual identity, his employers see it differently. Robert was hoping that the sequel would reveal intimate detail in the love life of Hook, finally proving that dressing as a 17th century pirate indeed is a gender.