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MTV is reporting that a spokeswoman for Edward Chernoff, an attorney representing Michael Jackson's interests, says that Jackson's personal Doctor Conrad Murray is not a suspect in any homocide investigation.
Continue reading "Michael Jackson's Doctor Is Not a Suspect" »
Professor Gates Scandal Continues as Obama Calls Cambridge Officer but Offers NO Apology:
Today president Barack Obama made a surprise appearance at the White House press briefing in an attempt to address the political firestorm of the "Professor Gates Scandal", or as we like to call it, "Gates Gate"....
Continue reading "OBAMA REFUSES TO APOLOGIZE TO CAMBRIGE POLICE" »
Gore to Make An Inconvenient Truth Part 2, or ICT2J. Gore promises more action in the sequel, which he says is part De Vinci Code, part National Treasure. Gore will star along with his friend and long time political intellect The two friend met at a Hooters sponsored fat guy wet t-shirt contest, in which Gore won what he calls his first Noble prize. The movie will be directed by Michael Bay, and promises Lava flowing through New York City, and Polar Bears being forced into concentration camps by an evil Republican administration. There will also be a love scene between Gore and Jessica Alba that very reminiscent of the romantic Al and Tipper Gore make out session of the 2000 election. "Al makes love making look like a mother bird feeding her young baby," said Bay. It's just so disgusting, I think it's why actresses are regarded as such whores, I mean really, she would F#ck Gore if we paid her enough money, except I think she did anyway, In fact I don't think there was a guy on the crew of Truth 2 that didn't get his dick drained by that Latin slut" Summer 2011!GORE TO MAKE AN INCONVENIENT TRUTH PART 2
STEVEN SEAGAL!
"Barack really is loving his new white lifestyle," said a senior Obama staff member. "He even did the tomahawk chop at the Washington National game yesterday, and the braves weren't even playing!" Ignorant whites everywhere are taking a second look at Barack. "I thought he was too much like that bad Ni#^ER Malcolm X, but I think he might be more like that nice colored boy Will Smith," said an ignorant non college educated white, who still loves Hillary. OBAMA BUYS HIS FIRST BILLY JOEL CD
In an attempt to bridge the gap he has with uneducated white voters, Barack Obama went into a West Virginia Wall mart and bought his very first Billie Joel CD. Billie Joel's Greatest Hits.
"Wow it was really awesome, Barack said after only 40 seconds of listening to it."
Barack also bought the first five seasons of "Friends" and some new ammo for all the deer hunting he plans on doing in the next week.
Hundreds of people around the country were devastated today by the news from Holly Wood. There will be no sequel to the 1989 smash hit Hook. It has been nearly 20 years since the dream pairing of Robin William's and Dustin Hoffman in the epic Hook. "Hook changed how movies were made" Said Francis Ford Coppala, "you see before Hook many british actors had played jewish people, but never before did a Jewish actor play a british person.STEVEN SPIELBERG 'THERE WILL BE NO HOOK 2"
Perhaps the hardest hit by all this sadness is local Subway shop sandwich artist Robert Parker. Parker is currently in an on going law suit with Subway. Mr. Parker contends that dressing up like Dustin Hoffman from Hook is his sexual identity, his employers see it differently. Robert was hoping that the sequel would reveal intimate detail in the love life of Hook, finally proving that dressing as a 17th century pirate indeed is a gender.
Michael J Fox admits to Parkinson's hoax. Fox who has been riding the coat tails of the debilitating disease for nearly a decade, decided to come clean now that he feels people have gotten over the shock. “It’s just not helping my career as much as it used to, and now that stem cell research is getting to be a non political issue, it really sucks to pretend to have Parkinson's.” Said the star as he rocked back in forth in now what is known to be a cocaine come down.MICHAEL J FOX ADMITS TO PARKINSON'S HOAX.
“I don’t have Parkinson's disease,” said the star of Doc Hollywood and, The Hard Way. “I just do to much cocaine, and I really wanted to get off that shitty show Spin City.
Perhaps the greatest victims in Fox’s decade of lies are his immediate family. “I pretty much gave him open access to vagina land” Said his wife, “Now I somehow feel used.” His children also feel the sting of his deception, as they were constantly gilt tricked into watching old episodes of Family Ties. 
Barack Obama Confident, Talks Candidly About Drug Use. "Look" Barack Continued, "I did regret my drug use as a youth, I regretted that I didn't have enough money to party like I need to. You how cocaine is Anderson, it runs out, I don't have that problem any more."BARACK OBAMA CONFIDENT, TALKS CANDIDLY ABOUT DRUG USE
"Yeah last night I was snorting cocaine off Tara Reids thighs." Obama told a cleary aroused Anderson cooper.
"And listen up white people I not a muslum, I'm Malcolm fucking X, I'm outside your high school recruiting your daughters to be in my rap videos, Anderson either change those panties or take them off, because that river running under your chair could provide water for all my brothers in Africa." At this point Cooper took his pants off, and CNN was forced to go to commercial.
Obama Looks at Sweet Sweet AssOBAMA LOOKS AT SWEET SWEET ASS
The leader of the Free World and his French wing man, President Nicolas Sarkozy taking in the sweet sweet ass of Brazil’s junior G8 delegate Mayora Tavares."She may be 16 but that ass has no legal age of consent as far as I'm concerned," Obama joked with reporters.Other asses in Obama's life are not pleased about the President's recent obsession with the young Brazilian's booty. While Michell Obama, who herself has a very fine ass, could not be reached for comment, Obama-phile, and fine ass ed actress Scarlett Johansson fired off this picture to the president through their email relationship. 
"Well, let me tell you one thing, Han did not always like it Solo, he sometimes needed a little Droid drool, if you know what I mean," said the very caddy C-3PO. In C-3PO's tell all bio "Into the Golden Rain", Han Solo is not the only one who gets the golden rod, according to the Droid many of the almost all male Star Wars universe needed a little lovn. "I won't say any more about the book, but believe me, Chewbacca, oh yeah it's big." 3po said with a knowing grin. C-3PO and Bicentennial man live in a trendy part of London, and spend their days shopping and signing autographs for the occasional fan. The book is just a chapter in C-3PO's life that was recently on hold due to depression after Princess Diana's death. "This book is dedicated to her," said the tearful Droid. "It was my way of saying goodbye.STAR WARS C-3PO FINALLY COMES OUT OF THE CLOSET
In the biggest coming out surprise since Nathen Lane, Star Wars Droid, C-3po admits to being gay and is now living with his lover Bicentennial man. 3po also plans on writing a tell all bio in which he reveals all the straight Star Wars characters he had sex with.
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