BLACK DOG PRESS

Obama Is a Sleeper Cell Says Presidential Expert.

Obama Is a Sleeper Cell Says Presidential Expert.
"I am convinced that Barack Hussein Obama is an al-Qaeda sleeper cell," said self proclaimed presidential historian Gary Busey.
Busey made his announcement during happy hour at a Van Nuys Applebees. Busey, who always travels with his constant companions, a stuffed bald eagle, and a jaguar skull which he believes to have magical powers, explained his case to Ashly a twenty something pink haired waitress with a great little ass that Busey knew from the moment he saw her that just had to bone her.
"Listen Ash," Busey said, "The facts against Obama are stacking up faster then flapjacks at a lumber jack convention, were the flap jack machine has gotten out of control and the lumber jacks start committing suicide M. Night Shyamalan "The Happenings," style. Have you seen that movie Ash it's crazy but I just love every inch of it."
Busey was then asked to leave to make room for people who would order things.

Slutty Girl Scout Endorses Obama

"I just can't resist chocolate," the slutty girl scout said when announcing her support for Barrack Obama

DEARBORN, Mich. – Jenifer Shape knows how to sell Girl Scout cookies. She sold them to friends. She sold them to strangers. She even convinced her orthodontist to buy the popular sweet treats.

"Do you want eat my cookie?" Jennifer would ask would be male buyers.
15 year old Jennifer  Sharpe has been a Girl Scout for 5 years, but the 15 year old got something for Christmas last year that gives her an edge. She grew into some big tits and a sweet ass. The flavor she sold the most of was caramel coconut. The words just rolled off her tongue. 

Girl Scout sets record for cookie sales with 17,323  boxes sold

    "Wanna Know the only thing that tastes better then  girl  scout  cookies?"

New Apple Iphone, to be marketed for Seniors

New Apple Iphone, to be marketed for Seniors

Former Secretary of Defense, Donald Rumsfeld, promotes new Apple's iphone, for seniors, called "The Rummy"

 

Rumsfeld has been an opponent of the iphone since day one calling it at best "A device to make it easier for young people, like Sean Penn, to send each other pictures of their fannies."

But now old Rummy has taken matters into to his own hands. For they last several days Rumsfeld has been getting up at 4 in the morning and marching himself and a camouflaged shopping cart to his local "Best Buy" store. What's in the cart? Rumsfeld calls it the "Rummy," the senior alternative to the iphone. At first glance the Rummy looks like a dell laptop with a cell phone super glued to the back. But on closer inspection it is far worse. "I format the computers so they can't go on the internet, that way there is no risk of getting a young fannie in your e-mail box." Explained Rumsfeld, " also the phone is always on speaker so you always can shout at the same time as not being able to hear the person on the other line." I am proud of that little feature, Rumsfeld exclaimed.

   

Nor Apple, or dell, officially endorse the "Rummy," but that doesn't bother old Rumsfeld. "I stand outside the store for 12 sometimes 15 hours, those guys at Abu Grave can't even take 8 hours of standing." Rumsfeld who gave up sleeping in the late sixties do his anger about "Rock and Roll" spends the rest of his hours driving slowly by Colin Powells house, and working on his German World War 2 replica Tiger tank. The "Rummy" retails for $1,000 dollars, but young people can work it off by doing hard work in Rumsfeld's yard.

Former Secretary of Defense, Donald Rumsfeld, promotes new Apple's iphone, for seniors, called "The Rummy"

 

Rumsfeld has been an opponent of the iphone since day one calling it at best "A device to make it easier for young people, like Sean Penn, to send each other pictures of their fannies."

But now old Rummy has taken matters into to his own hands. For they last several days Rumsfeld has been getting up at 4 in the morning and marching himself and a camouflaged shopping cart to his local "Best Buy" store. What's in the cart? Rumsfeld calls it the "Rummy," the senior alternative to the iphone. At first glance the Rummy looks like a dell laptop with a cell phone super glued to the back. But on closer inspection it is far worse. "I format the computers so they can't go on the internet, that way there is no risk of getting a young fannie in your e-mail box." Explained Rumsfeld, " also the phone is always on speaker so you always can shout at the same time as not being able to hear the person on the other line." I am proud of that little feature, Rumsfeld exclaimed.

   

Nor Apple, or dell, officially endorse the "Rummy," but that doesn't bother old Rumsfeld. "I stand outside the store for 12 sometimes 15 hours, those guys at Abu Grave can't even take 8 hours of standing." Rumsfeld who gave up sleeping in the late sixties do his anger about "Rock and Roll" spends the rest of his hours driving slowly by Colin Powells house, and working on his German World War 2 replica Tiger tank. The "Rummy" retails for $1,000 dollars, but young people can work it off by doing hard work in Rumsfeld's yard.

Tom Hanks Shocking Gay Film from his Past!

The movie Tom Hanks doesn't want his fans to know about, a little known film called Philadelphia, a gay-exploitation film,  in which he has gay sex in a porno theater.

Before he was "Forest Gump", before he was the guy from the "Terminal" Tom Hanks made a gay-exploitation film to help pay the bills before his career took off. A little movie called "Philadelphia" in which Hanks has sex with random men until he contracts aids. Also in the film was the struggling Antonio Banderas, who also plays a promiscuous gay man. Reps from Hanks deny the existence of this soft core gay Porno, but copies of the film have been circulating in the press for weeks, and story is about to break. It's hard to say how the knowledge of the film will effect Hanks career, but the public usually does not like to be lied to for so many years. Hank's would not confirm deny his involvement in the film but plans to address it later in a press conference this week.

Colin Powell Endorses High School Musical 3

Colin Powell Endorses High School Musical 3

After much back and forth negotiation between the two camps, Colin Powell has finally come out and endorsed High School Musical 3. Powell who was openly critical of the policies of High School Musical 2, was himself pleased to make the announcement That 3 would be landmark historical moment.
"2 was an Ashley Tidal tease" Powell said in his press conference. "3 brings Musical back to it's roots and back to Zac Efron and his Hindi Hottie."

New Hook High School Opens in Chicago

All Gay High School opens the door for Hooks.
They call themselves Hooks; People who are sexually orientated to the 1991 Steven Spielberg movie "Hook"

The new sexual orientation first got national attention when Subway worker, Robert Parker, successfully sued the company for discrimination. Parker who lives his life dressed as Captain Hook, felt oppressed by the gender restrictions of the subway uniform.
There are four main subgroups in Hook culture; Pans, Tinks, Hooks, and Lost Boys. They make love to each other while reciting lines from the academy award winning film.

Al Roker Sends A Message to Sarah Palin

"Give Me your used panties or by God I will hunt down Hannah Montana and impregnate her." Al Roker shouted this morning on the Today Show.

Roker who know only calls himself the Weatherman has had other close encounters with Governor Palin. His first attempt at contact came when he tried to sneak into the Republican convention dressed as Big Momma from Martin Lawrence's Big Momma's House. Secret service became suspicious when the noticed a black man in Minnesota. After comparing a picture of Colin Powell, they knew immediately that they had a serious problem.
Roker did not only talk about Palin, he also expressed his desire to build his own coffin and place it on top of Heathe Ledger’s coffin, which Roker believes to be in Arlington national cemetery. "Heath and I belong together forever," Roker said before NBC was forced to go to a commercial break.