BLACK DOG PRESS

Rodger Moore, Best Bond Ever

Nobody does it better then Roger Moore.
From quick wit to quicker women Moore remains unmatched in his dominance of the role of 007. Old Rog made the most Bond films (7), and so far is the Bond box office champ. His cunt count is also staggering, in Moonraker alone he beds more women then the castrated Timothy Dalton looked at in his tenure as Bond. Moore just has to start undressing girls and they sleep with him, they are not even drunk or drugged. Beside Dalton, Moore is the only real Brit to play Bond. Connery is an illiterate Scott, and Pierce Brosnan is a half bread Irish Mick.   

And what about Roger films themselves?  Every Moore film  could be the best Bond film ever. From the  blacksploitation Live and Let Die, to the ridiculous View to a kill. He sleeps with Grace Jones in View for Christ sake.
I rest my case.

Al Roker Rushed to Hospital, In Near Heart Attack

With a copy of this weeks Vanity Fair clutched in his left hand and ky jelly coving his whole entire body, Al Roker was rushed to the hospital today, he could be heard screaming,

"Bring me a real naked picture Miley Cyrus, or by god I will hunt down Hannah Montana and impregnate her!"

Al, who now only calls himself the weather man, was only suffering from chronic masturbation syndrome, which doctors guessed was due to the Miley Cyrus photos  released this week in Vanity Fair.

Newt Gingrich Found Living in Fox News Headqaurters

Newt Gingrich Found Living in Fox News Headquarters

"He was confused and scared when we pulled him out of the rat rest he made out   Greta Van Susteren discarded tampons,"  Said real Fox reporter,  Geraldo Rivera
"Imagine if you can, the dastardly, dastardly, world that our friend  Newt must  have  been  living in."

Geraldo continued, "eating food that Bill O'Reilly  throws away,

 

  trying to make extra cash by windexing the camera lenses. Only to be shooed away. And amazingly he manages to get himself together to be in almost every Fox news interview. I think we all owe him  some big props, and he also stopped Hillary Clinton's health care plan. Let's never forget this man again."

Geraldo then disappointed the crowded gawkers  when he ended his speech, without shooting himself in the face. "You gotta watch my live show, you never know what day I am gonna finally kill myself on air."   

Supreme Courts Decides, Graphic Novels Must be Called Comic Books

The Justices ruled 8 to 1 on the controversial issue. Clarence Thomas strongly opposed. "Are you telling that, the Frank Miller Batman, were he has a hot young girl as Robin, is  not worthy to be called a novel, this is complete B.S." Thomas said before he went to his Washington D.C. apartment which he shares with Colin Powell.

Many business are also worried that this decision may lead to violence. "We all have to deal with the guy who masturbates to Rogue from X-men, in the bathroom on his lunch   break, I sure don't want to be the one to tell him that he can no longer pick Punisher as a great character in literature, when we play celebrity at our Christmas party," said a concerned unnamed manager, of a local D.C. business.   

The other  supreme  court justices,  are also concerned  for  judge  Thomas's  sanity over the issue.

"Him and Colin don't seem to getting alone anymore, and he hasn't left any pubic hair on my food for over a week." Said Justice Alito. Others are concerned because he Colin have not accepted any dinner initiations lately from their white friends.

"If Colin and Thomas stop going to dinner with us were in big trouble, I mean as republicans we have to be able to say that we black people over for dinner all the time." Newt Gingrich said in an uninvited interview on Fox news.

Global Warming is a Lie, Give Me Universal Heath care! And Stop this war now.

Global Warming is a Lie, Give Me Universal Heath care! And Stop this war now.
Somebody please tell Leonardo DiCaprio to stay away from open windows,
Tell Cameron Diaz to stop talking, and just keep shaking it,
and could Sizzler please bring back there buffet so Al Gore can eat himself to death.
(and Gangs of New sucks harder then Paris Hilton on a penis shaped Popsicle, or just a real penis )
Sorry guys but Global Warming, which they now are forced to call Climate Change, is just the latest tool to control the proletariats. We are well to smart to believe in god, so neo apocalypse scenarios are created. Any one remember the ice age? Fact is that we get so excited about, Leo showing up to the Oscars in his hybrid, that we are willing to let another decade pass without Universal health care. We stand alone and embarrassed in the western world to issues like gay marriage. We get in a frenzy to pass laws to stop smoking in bars, while the fact that we have the highest prison population goes unnoticed. I want health care, I want health care I want health care.  And Why are fighting this war, why are we fighting this war, why are we fighting this war?

Al Roker Attacks Fox Producers

Al Roker Attacks Fox Producers.
"Write me in as a love interest in your show Ally McBeal, or by god I will hunt down Hannah Montana and impregnate her," Roker screamed this morning on the The Today Show.

New Scandel Rocks Barack Obama's Campaign

Barack Obama today neither confirmed or denied that he is madly in love with Alexis Bledel.
"I think everybody in America is in love with Alexis," Barack said to students in North Carolina, "But the idea that just because I own every season of Gilmore Girls, and only make love to Michelle when Alexis's face is freeze framed, well the idea  that that makes me in love with her, is absurd." 

Clinton Negatives Hit New High

New Poll Shows that 65% of voters would rather vote for Adolf Hilter, While 83% of voters would rather watch a new sitcom with Tony Danza, then vote for Hillary Clinton.

A Dozen Dead In Tyra Banks Hairspray Accident

"A Dozen dead in Ty Ty's Hairspray Accident"

Today, Tyra (ty ty) Banks, and a few of her loyal female followers, were literally “killed by kindness” during taping an “ANTM Where Are They Now?” episode for the “Tyra Banks Show” (to be aired in mid June of 08).

Hillary Clinton and the Nuclear option. Will She Run as an Independent?

Will Hillary Clinton run as a third party candidate?
She shows signs of backing down.  The only  way she  can win the  democratic nomination is if the Super delegates  vote contrary to Obama's lead. Why is Hillary still running, and would she really just stand by and let Obama take the Presidency that she so believes she deserves? This all brings us to the depressing reality that John McCain will be are next president.