Raphael Romney, the secret son Mitt had while on his Mormon mission in France speaks out. Romney supporters fear that the only thing worse than having to always cover up a crazy religion is having to cover up a crazy secret albino son. This all comes on the heels of a series of scandals for the Romney camp, first the Butt Bugger, Larry Craig, and most recently the unshocking revelation that Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen are Mitt's secret wives. Can this candidate recover?
"This is a problem that Mitt wishes he could just white out." said a close source to Romney. "We already had the Larry Craig Faggot crises but Americans really do not like albinos. Have you seen the Omega Man?"
Romney’s camp so far denies any relation and claim that the albino boy is just trying to get attention, earlier today they released this photo.
While this family photo only shows a portion of Romney's wives and children it is clear that there are no albinos.
Meanwhile Romney's undeclared running mate, TTim Romney, is getting more heat from the press. When Mitt's twin TTim first arrived from the Mormon planet Uniton, the press went gaga over his wacky ways. They laughed when TTim declared he would help Mitt eliminate all minorities, and could not get enough of his open polygamous ways. But it seems now the leaf has turned on Uniton's son. You see in frenzy TTim has already married at least five Earth girls, each bearing his Uniton seed, and none over the age of 16. Worse for Mitt is that TTim has employed the Uniton practice of intergalactic twin wife sharing, and Mitt just feels that TTim takes more than his fair share.
Mitt's secret wives the Olsen twins do not like the double duty, and claim that TTim is worse than Uncle Joey on Full House. Black Dog Press would just like to state that nobody is worse than Uncle Joey from Full House, not even Hitler.
Well we will just have to wait and see what those insane Mormons do next.